I help motivated, self-aware, queer couples create and maintain secure, loving, energizing relationships.
You have worked hard to create stability in your life and in your relationships in a world that isn’t always supportive to you as a queer person. You've struggled in partnership in the past and you've learned a few things. You've applied these lessons, and now you are in a relationship you thought would last. But life on the planet is sometimes really stressful, and you and your partner are fighting more and more, and the fights are getting scarier. You feel disconnected and it's hard to feel like you are in love. You're frustrated that every time you try to talk about it, one of you shuts down or the processing seems to take hours with no real results. It’s starting to affect your work life, your sex life, your friends and family who are involved.
You are scared and feeling anxious that if things don't shift soon, things will explode, or fall apart. The idea of losing this relationship is terrifying, but the idea of staying in it like this is just as terrifying. You haven't come this far in life to have a destructive breakup or divorce, or to settle for an unhappy, sexless, dysfunctional relationship.
You remember what it felt like when you were first falling in love. You want that feeling again. You still get glimpses of the relationship's beautiful potential, so you want to fix it, but you don't know how. You've tried to work it out on your own. You've read articles online, you’ve learned communication techniques, you’ve deepened your spiritual practices, and turned to your friends for help. But that's not doing it. There still isn't any sustained peace and now you are screaming at each other or you are totally silent and miserable. You've come to realize that you need serious help.
I will teach you strategies to connect and calm each other's nervous system so that the relationship becomes a safe space in which you can apply all that wisdom you’ve got and all the research you’ve done. I will help you repair any wounding that may have happened in the relationship and address any past trauma that may be interfering with you moving forward together. I will teach you how to apply communication skills in order to be heard and connect even when you disagree. This will allow you to find creative strategies to meet your needs as an empowered queer couple. My goal is to empower you and your relationship so that eventually you won't need to be in therapy in order to have a happy, evolving, and functional relationship.